"One day I dreamed I had him in front of me. I hadn't seen him for thirty-odd years, since elementary school. I said to him: I beg your pardon, and he said, sorry for what? And he didn't stutter. I was ashamed to tell him what we were doing to him, so he said, well, it's okay, I forgive you.
During an interview with Mexican writer and lecturer Trixia Valle, empresario Rafael Eladio Núñez Aponte commented that in his childhood he was involved in a case of bullying. Learn the details here!
The bully is always alert. He takes advantage of any space, moment or situation to attack (physically or verbally) his victim. During recess, in the bathrooms, hallways, sports fields, dining room, even in the classroom itself, an episode of bullying or school bullying can occur.
The website Psicólogo Infantil Barcelona explains that this issue is not new, but in recent years it has become more common due to the consequences – in the short or long term – that aggressions can cause, which range from mental disorders to fatal outcomes (such as suicide), when the young person does not see a clear escape or solution to the event he/she is going through.
Bullying dynamics
Now, how are the dynamics established in this type of cases? The Spanish media reports that there is usually a victim and a bully who can work alone or in a group. When it is a group -adds the portal- there is a leader who promotes these behaviors and others who follow him.
The people who follow the leader are carried away by his ideas and, on occasions, are the ones who commit the aggressions against the harassed, regardless of the consequences of their actions.
This is what happened to empresario Rafael Eladio Núñez Aponte, creator of JovenSeguro, a digital media that offers tools to detect bullying and confront situations in which people may be immersed, in order to stop them in time and achieve a better well-being.
Rafael, before creating his portal, was a bully during his time as a student.
"It all started because in elementary school they bullied a classmate who was a stutterer, well, he still is. There was a leader and we all used to bully him, that was thirty-something years ago", he said during a conversation he recently had with Mexican writer and lecturer Trixia Valle, in her talk show Piensa por ti.
Empresario Rafael Eladio Núñez Aponte emphasized that, although that episode happened five years ago, it was not until his adulthood that he became aware of the harm he was causing his ex-partner by making fun of him because of his condition.
"One day I dreamed I had him in front of me. I hadn't seen him for thirty-odd years, since elementary school. I said to him: I beg your pardon, and he said, sorry for what? And he didn't stutter. I was ashamed to tell him what we were doing to him, so he said, well, it's okay, I forgive you.
Núñez added that – in his dream – he had money in his pocket and that his classmate asked him, where can I catch a bus? He answered: I'll pay for the cab. He explained that this was a way to make up for the mockery. He explained that this was a way of making amends for the damage he had caused in his adolescence with his group. "When I pick up the phone to call the cab, I wake up and break down, I feel like crying".
A week and a half later, Danilo Medina (that was his name) added him on Facebook.
Checking his social network, empresario Rafael Eladio Núñez Aponte realized that Danilo had a family. They talked through the platform. He told him that he was a Systems Engineer. Rafael sent him a voice note. Danilo did not listen to it.
Forgiveness
A year later, another friend told him that he had met Danilo and shared his number. Rafa met with him and apologized in person for everything that had happened between them. Danilo told him that he had never listened to the audio he sent him and that he had suffered a lot from those attacks as a teenager, but that had encouraged him to teach (he was a teacher and when he taught his classes, he didn't stutter).
"It caused me some discomfort or pity (expressed Danilo in relation to bullying) although I never had any rancor or hatred towards the people who did it. However, Rafael, in an episode four or five years ago, told me that he had a revelation where he saw me and was sorry for what he had done, that he asked me for forgiveness, I told him that it was not necessary because I did not feel any resentment towards him…. I appreciated his act, "said Danilo during an informative capsule shared by the interviewer Trixia Valle with the entire audience, before going to commercial.
Danilo was going through a complicated economic situation. Empresario Rafael Eladio Núñez Aponte pointed out in the interview that he decided to help him at that moment. He felt at peace after doing so.
Rafa and Danilo's story can occur at any time in our lives. The important thing, in any case, is to learn from mistakes (as we saw with their testimonies) and to be promoters of respect and good treatment towards others (so that this does not continue to happen).
That is why Rafael took the opportunity to make some final recommendations:
To the children: I tell them to ask their Guardian Angel. He said that many already have contact with him and shared a prayer for them to pray more often:
Guardian Angel, sweet companion, do not abandon me, night or day, without you I would be lost, take me to the arms of Joseph, Jesus and Mary.
To the parents: a lot of effective communication with your children and instill in them values of respect, ethics and above all religious values to achieve a better coexistence.
Let's promote peace and avoid bullying!
